So, my best friend has lived long distance for about 6 years now. We've been friends for about 12 years, so it isn't a 'thang' that I don't see her much, 'cos we're besties, so it doesn't really matter. We talk and text pretty much all the time and she's my "person", as Christina would say. I could kill someone and she'd be there in a flash, asking if I wanted to chop it up or dump it in a river.
She's awesome, to put it lightly.
She's also very independent and very honest. So when she recently started to jump back into dating after a pretty hard focus on her career, I was excited to hear the views she had on the current "single population" of men. In other words, I wanted the goss.
I've got quite a few friends who are in and out of dating (including one friend who went on a blind date and he had a metal hand, but that's another story), but her brutal honesty was what I wanted to hear about the most.
Now, before we go any further, I am a firm believer that when you're single, do whatever you like. The girls who are like "omg, why is it okay for a guy to sleep with several girls but not vice versa, oh em gee" are looking at life in the wrong way. If you care that much about what people think, then you shouldn't be going mad, because you clearly have way too much of a complex. Go wild while you can so you aren't pining when you're married. And besides, you could be dead tomorrow.
So dates were had and hilarious conversations ensued. Apparently the roles seem "reversed", clingy guys are now a thing, who knew? He also thought it would be cute to take a #selfie with him on their first date, which she awkwardly agreed to after a few drinks. Until he uploaded the picture to facebook with the caption "Having such a good time!" Srsly?
This got me thinking into what dating has become and how much technology is involved.
The best line I ever heard about today's dating scene is from a film called He's Just Not That Into You. Have you seen it? You probably have. The line goes like this,
"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."
It's so true. With apps to date, websites to date, websites to date that arrange parties to date - what is going on? We've resorted to tweeting and facebooking about what did or didn't happen when we met up with that guy who messaged you on Plenty of Fish, and you've kind of been texting, but y'know, who knows? His picture is nice but maybe he's photogenic. And is he really 5"10? How can I tell when I meet him? And what do you think about the picture of him wearing a leather jacket? Do you think he seems like a serial killer?
And I'm not saying dating websites or wrong, or that I don't like social media (social media is my soul), but I remember meeting someone, dating someone and having the outcome be mine and not the entire worlds to see. The fact that this guy is clearly tweeting his distress over his two dates with someone seems crazy. We've all had a rant on facebook (guilty!) but doesn't this seem a bit far?
When I went on a date I knew what to expect because I either had a) met him before or b) had friends who knew him and could confirm he didn't kill kittens on a Wednesday night for fun.
I remember wanting to be introduced to a friend of a friend years ago and she said, and I quote, "Don't bother, you'll end up cello taped to a wall by midnight."
I know this post isn't about make up or beauty or fashion or whatever, but I felt like I had to discuss this. Lay it on me, ladies & gents.
Does technology control dating and its outcomes?
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